Sometimes... If They Know, They Will Cry...

sometimes...
i was wondering, why can't i make my own thing by my own decision?

sometimes...
i was thinking, why my parents never think about me and care about my feeling?

sometimes
i was wondering, actually how much do my parents understands me and know me?

sometimes...
i was thinking. why they never really listen to what i said?

sometimes..
i was wondering, why they felt what they do to me is good and without asking me wasn't i like it?

sometimes...
i was thinking, if i am just a orphan, would my life will be better than now?

sometimes...
i was wondering, if doesn't had parents, would i staying more free?

sometimes...
i was thinking, if there was someone could really talk to me or listen to me, i really wish that my daddy n mummy.

sometimes...
i was wondering, if the time can pass faster, i could grow faster, do my future is bright?

sometimes...
i was thinking, how old do my parents will live?

sometimes...
i was wondering, will them understands or listen to me if i am older, will them still force me to do something that really hurt me or i don't really like it?

sometimes...
i was thinking. if there is a day, i would really think to sit down and tell my dad that actually i can talk to him a lot. Actually i can take care myself well.

sometimes...
i was wondering, isn't me to bad? i will change if my parents really think i am bad, i will be good for them

sometimes...
i was thinking, why i will cry alone at home? what happen to me?

sometimes...
i was wondering, why my life was so suffer? i just want a simple life, i just want the life just like when i was small. Always smile, always happy, always cry but was cute, always shy for everything, always be cheerful.

sometimes...
i was thinking, if i can be more and more smart and genius. Do my mother will just praise me for just a bit?

sometimes...
i was wondering, can i hold my parents walk around the park when they are old and weak?

sometimes...
i was thinking, what i to do is study hard!... i want to stay in a wealthy life because my parents worth to be that, because they always look down by people, because i want to proof to them, not only those born in rich can stay in a big house driving a luxury car!!

sometimes...
i will just looking to the stars and wishing, don't let my parents leave me so early, cause i haven had a chance to proof to them and let them know actually their daugther can do better than they think...




this question, this answer...
no one can really help me....
only my parents can help me...

i always shout at them
i always make them angry
i always let them disappointed
i always never help them do house work
i always do something wrong
i always fight with my brother
i always stay at the bathroom, bath very long
i always waste money
i always late sleep
i always lazy lazy lazy
i always last minutes

actually all this i can change!!
but please give me some time
i know i can do it

i know i am slow
but 1 day before i leave you( parents ) please remember that actually i am bad
so that i could show you how good i am =)

maybe my post not really that impressive
but i really wrote it by myself and the word i really think to say out

i really love you two
but you wont know....T^T